manis

1year of being single
im sick and tired of getting to know guys.
im tired of having to impress a guy.
im just plain lazy.


so on June 15 it all started.
a msg was sent by me to him.
and email were exchange,
and dere you go..
a new friendship found.
=))


he was in school and im at home.
chatted and chatted.
and a funny guy i met.
2days pass and he pass him his number.
i acknowledge it by sayin good night pakcik.


we began to sms each other de whole day.
i lebih happy layan eu dari layan my facee..
ok. i like.*_*


began to talk on de phone till wee hours.
nisa's bed time @ 10.30PM was long 4gotten about.
laugh. chat. talk. talk. laugh. laugh.
=P


someone got bored in school.
so i ask him to think about de weekends..
and he ask if he could spend his weekend with me.
so dgn tk tau malu nye nisa, i say bleh2! hee. =)


so we did.
met him up on June 20.
for de first time i was so scared.
i wanted him to be impress by me.
kept on thinking on what to wear.
got damn nervous

called ling and ask on every single thing.
just to impress you, my boy..
so finally tone down and wait for you.
fell asleep while waiting for you; traffic jam ar eu.. lgpn cck jauhs seh.
-_-'
so finally met you under my void deck.
you were on de phone.
ok nisa nervous up2.
so you smiled and i smiled back.
so we left tamp and continued our journey to suntec city.
cut de story short.
you send me home.
i thank you for de lovely day out.
n quoted telling you dat
i never felt as comfortable with a guy like how i was to you..
n really i do..


so we began talking
meeting up at de slightest moment we could.
you brought me to places i never been to..
we
laugh
laugh
laugh..


got to no more of you:
you dont smoke, drink, club, n much2 more which im all smiles about..
ouh n dis one paling best..
you dont eat spicy and you dont eat seafood!
baik per??
whee..
nisa suke!=))


so we were close.
and i realise dat i found de one dat i wan to spend my life with.
i know, its damn fast but all i wanted was you..
you you and you!!


after a whole 1year of single life..
i taught i met de guy for me.


began to tell you how i feel and you told me de exact same things.
i melted deep inside
and wonder if you are really de one..
you reassured me time and time again, telling me dat you love me
n one day we wll be 2gether..


so on this day, a month ago..
July 4th
we were at mount faber park; de usual place we sat.
we knew dat dat day, was de day we had to be 2gether..
you got down on your knees..

*nisa cair*
and ask me to became you girlfriend.
you promised you'll never hurt me,
take care of me.
n de most importantly
love me...
so i accepted and sealed it with a kiss. =P
i promised you back.
almost on de verge of tearing,
but of course, nisa maintain!=))


due to de date factor.
i wanted de official date to be July 5.
050709.
"we'll beat de odds" we said.


so dere you go..
a new relationship, hoping to grow..
my frens, relative and even family
were happy for me.
you guys look sweet 2gether. =))


i got so comfortable with you..
cared for you..
loved you..
protect you..
little did i know,
you were a grown boy..
you know how to look after youself.
stupid me..
what was i thinking?
=\


you got irritated of me.
being so clingy and just being so dumb.
you got irritated of every single thing i did.
even my call and sms was a painful sight for you..


i kept on asking you why..
and finally you told..
so i decided, i want to change..
klu dgn lelaki lain kn, nisa say gi mampos. ngn u, i beg u..
i beg you for another chance to prove myself wrong.
by that time your status had changed to single.
i cried my ass out for you..
n i know theres no point crying.
all i had to do was to bloody hell change..


so i taught i did.
i became more patient with you.
trust you as much as i could..
ignore criticism from you..
all de $%&&$%#lalallalaalalaalallaa@$%$$$%&*^%#(#!!!, i ignored..
i knew i deserve all this from you who had tolerted with me all this while..
i stayed up de whole night thinking about you..

1 week pass
n when finally i open my bloody mouth and ask you if you love me..
dere you go..
ive got de answer i wasnt expecting for..
can we just be friends for now..
my heart just stop beating and eventually tears start rolling.
heartbroken. crashed..
n everything you could imagine..
why why why..
all i could ever ask was why...
but of course, i did not, n just shut my mouth n fall to my bed thinkin and thinking..
i wanted to talk to you, but you told me you were tired..
n i said ok..
last word from you; nyt nyt (you know i love it when you say it like dat.=P)


why did you have to go so soon??
now all i could do, is wish for you to be happy..
happy with your friends and you love ones..
of course im sad..
i truly am..
all i could think about is you..
i miss you..
i miss hugging you close..
i miss it when you hug me after every single fight we had..

i miss looking at you fall asleep while i hear your heartbeat n de waves of de sea.
i miss when your hands are holding to mine when we are on de bike.
it makes me go googoogaagaa over you.
heh.
i just miss your cuteness and your manjeness..
youre still a cute lil boy to me. =P


but dont bother bout me,
i'll be alright..
im good at faking a smile.
no worries..


for now, im not sure how to move on..
im keeping still here..
i really dono how to get back up..
so..
i'm letting you free
n if we are really meant to be
you'll come back to me..
right??
hopefully..
wishin wishin wishin..


so dere you go..
the story of *MaNis*


and for you,
i really have nothing against you..
you told me we could be friends..
n im happy dat you want it to be dat way.
so if deres anything in life dat bothers you,
gimme a call ok..
or sms ke.
or msn with me ke..
anything. i'll just be right here..

n even if you have nothing.

friends say hi to each other n hang out kn..

so we are friends right?

i hope we are


so status change..
i use to be single n loving it.
den i became happily attach n loving it..
now im singleFULLSTOP!
im not loving anything about being single.
phuck.. it hurts alot..

im really drained by de tears which is coming out from my eyes..
stop please?

timecheck: 10.31PM and i still have not began my essay which is due 2moro..
baik nisa..

im getting insomnia..

i cant fall asleep..

n when i do, its just for 2hours, n i'll be awake again for de nest 1-2hours staring at de walls..

so de next time you see me, taking a nap in de afternoon.

tkmo disturb k..

heh..

so toodles ya'll..

this chest pain

is not helping

at all.